
WHAT HATS SHOES AND BAG SHOULD THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE WEAR
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Choosing the right hat, shoes and bag as Mother of the Bride is all about the balance between style, comfort, and coordination. Below are guidelines + style ideas (plus things to avoid) to help you feel polished and confident.
Key Principles & Etiquette
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Let the dress lead — Pick your dress first (or at least its colour palette and level of formality), then choose accessories that complement it.
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Don’t over‑match — Accessories don’t all have to be exactly the same shade. Two matching items (e.g. bag + shoes) are usually sufficient; the third can be a coordinating neutral or accent.
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Comfort is essential — You’ll be on your feet much of the day. Consider heel height, cushioning, stability, and having a backup (flats or lower heel) for dancing.
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Scale & proportion matter — The size of your hat should suit your height and the width of your shoulders; if the brim is very wide, it may overwhelm a more petite frame.
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Ceremony tradition — In more formal weddings, hats or fascinators are more common. In more modern or less formal settings, a hat is optional.
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Bag size & style — Choose a bag that holds essentials (lipstick, phone, tissues) but is elegant and small enough to carry or place on a lap. Clutches with optional chains or small structured handbags are good choices.
What to Wear: Hat, Shoes & Bag Ideas
Here are ideas (with variations) depending on dress style, season, and your comfort preferences.
Hat / Headpiece |
- Percher / tilted hat: elegant and less intrusive for greeting guests. - Fascinator or disc: good for a more modern, lighter look. - Wide-brim hat: works for outdoor weddings, but ensure it doesn’t block guests’ view or get knocked off. - For cooler months: materials like velvet, felt or silk are lovely. |
What To Avoid
Don’t choose a brim wider than your shoulders unless you’re confident in scale.
- Avoid headpieces that obstruct your face or conversations.
- Test the hat while interacting: greeting, hugging, sitting.
- If you’re not comfortable wearing a full hat, a tasteful fascinator is totally acceptable.
- Don’t feel pressured — if hats aren’t “you,” it’s okay to skip it (some modern weddings don’t expect them)
Shoes |
- Elegant mid-heel pumps or t-strap / slingbacks often balance style + wearability. - Closed-toe or peep-toe depending on season. - Consider metallics (gold, silver, nude) as neutral options that pair with many colours. - If the venue has grass or gravel, avoid very thin stilettos — go for block heels or platforms for stability. - Padding, straps, and support are key — your feet will thank you. |
- Beware shoes that are too trendy or uncomfortable — you’ll spend many hours in them.
- Don’t bring dark, heavy shoes if your dress is light in colour — they may “kill” the look.
- Always carry a backup pair (flats, lower heels) especially for dancing
Bag / Handbag |
- Clutch or small structured bag with a chain/strap option. - Materials: satin, silk, metallic leather, subtle beading — something elegant. - Choose a colour that complements or echoes a tone in your outfit (or in your shoes). - Bags can be dyed to match in some specialty shops (e.g. dyeable shoes/bags) if precise colour matching is difficult. |
What To Avoid
- Avoid oversized bags that distract or look too casual.
- A bag that’s too bulky or heavy will become a burden by the end of the day.
- Don't choose a bag that is too fussy or noisy (no loud hardware).
- You don’t have to match it exactly to your shoes/hat — coordination is enough.
Sample Looks to Inspire
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Soft Pastel Dress + Neutral Accessories: A pale blue or blush dress with a matching hat in a slightly deeper hue, nude or metallic shoes, and a clutch in champagne or soft gold.
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Bolder Colour Dress: If your dress is rich (emerald, plum, navy), accessories in neutral metallics or shades from the dress’s print will tie it together without competing.
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Classic Monochrome with a Pop: A neutral dress (ivory, cream, taupe) with a bold hat (e.g. teal, coral), and shoes + bag in a metallic or complementary tone.
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Texture Play: If your dress has lace, beading or brocade, keep accessories simpler — solid shoes and a hat without heavy detailing.